Cosmo Kramer and Financial Independence

I’m not aware that there’s ever been a television show or movie about a financially independent character. However, one particular character strikes me as embodying, if inadvertently, many aspects of FI – Cosmo Kramer of the hit comedy Seinfeld.

Two introductory points. First, I’m an avid fan of Seinfeld, but I’m no expert. I’m sure I’ll miss pertinent information in this post – please feel free to add relevant Seinfeld/Kramer info in the comments.

Second, financial independence is not Cosmo Kramer’s lodestar. Quirkiness is. Many things influenced the character, but none more so than his overwhelming quirkiness, which led to many laughs on the show.

Kramer’s Origin

Cosmo Kramer is based on Larry David’s former real life neighbor, Kenny Kramer. Actor Michael Richards put his own spin on the character. The first episodes feature a shut-in motiff for Kramer, but quickly the character became much more social and confident. Kramer believes he’s smarter than everyone else, but he does not brag about it. He simply presents his version of the world as if it is everyone else’s (it’s not).

Kramer does not have a job. In an early episode, The Truth, Kramer claims to not pay taxes. Jerry responds that it is easy not to pay taxes when you don’t have income. 

Kramer’s Finances

In The Visa, George gives some insight into Kramer’s financial situation. According to George, Kramer’s life is sort of like a fantasy camp, and he reveals the following nuggets about Kramer’s financial life: “Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors.”

Kramer may not be a millionaire. There’s no indication that Kramer simply sold a lucrative business and is now living off the proceeds. Kramer claims not to be a millionaire when he discovers Calvin Klein is selling a perfume called “The Ocean.” Kramer previously pitched a cologne named “The Beach” to Calvin Klein, and complains to Jerry that “I could’ve been a millionaire! I could’ve been a fragrance millionaire, Jerry!” when he believes Calvin Klein stole his idea.

Later, in The Van Buren Boys, Kramer sells his life stories to J. Peterman for $750 and hosts a get-together to celebrate his financial upturn. Even in the 1990’s, few thousandaires (much less millionaires) would assemble their friends to celebrate a $750 score, but Kramer is quirky enough to do it.

Kramer never seems very anxious financially, but on two occasions he doesn’t appear to have the liquidity to pay unexpected bills. In The Diplomat’s Club Kramer runs up a $3,200 debt gambling on airplane arrivals and departures. He calls Newman to provide a unique piece of U.S. Postal Service memorabilia as collateral so he can make one more bet. In The Seven, Jerry bills Kramer for all his mooching. In order to pay the bill, Kramer sells Newman a bicycle for $50. Perhaps when you have trouble covering an unexpected bill for $50 it’s normal to celebrate a $750 financial upturn . . .

Kramer did have a gambling addiction, but it generally appears to be under control throughout the series. During its rare flare-ups, Kramer either gambles with Jerry’s money or uses Newman’s most valuable asset as collateral.

While the show never uses “FI” to describe Kramer, it once featured the character retiring early to Florida. In The Wizard, Kramer retires (from what, the other characters have no idea) to Del Boca Vista after having sold the movie rights to his coffee table book about coffee tables. Sure enough, Florida living doesn’t agree with Kramer, and he moves back to New York. In the next episode, The Burning, Kramer has a part-time job as an actor portraying diseased patients for medical school students.

Kramer’s Professional Background

Little is known about Kramer from prior to the start of the Seinfeld series. He appears to have little particular business knowledge or training. In The Package, Kramer acknowledges that he does not know what a “write off” is. Assessing Kramer’s work product in The Bizarro Jerry, Mr. Leland surmises that Kramer has “no business training at all.”

Kramer’s Lifestyle

Kramer is known for mooching off his neighbor Jerry. In The Dealership, he test drives a new car Jerry is considering. Kramer wants to know how long the car can run with the gas gauge on “E,” since he doesn’t “want to be the one responsible for purchasing costly gasoline” when borrowing Jerry’s car. Kramer frequently helps himself to Jerry’s food and beverages, thus keeping his grocery bill low.

Kramer appears to live a relatively low cost lifestyle. He wears vintage clothes and drives older cars. In The Nap he swims in the East River for exercise.

Kramer is not immune from frivolous and/or luxury purchases. He purchases a hot tub for his living room. He enjoys Cuban cigars, though he never pays cash for them. Initially, he obtains them from George (who received them as a gift from Mr. Ross). Later, Kramer barters with the Cuban consulate to obtain cigars in exchange for clothing.

One defining Kramer characteristic is that he’s always up for making some additional income. In The Beard he gladly accepts $50 to pose in a police lineup. In The Rye he drives a friend’s hansom cab in order to make $250 a day. In The Bookstore, Kramer and Newman attempt to operate a rickshaw business in New York. Kramer and Morty Seinfeld sell vintage raincoats in The Raincoats. 

Kramer frequently does odd jobs with his friend Mickey Abbott. In The Race, Kramer works as a Coleman’s department store Santa, with Mickey as his elf. In The Burning he and Mickey portray diseased patients for medical school students. In The Stand In he and Mickey work as stand-ins on All My Children. Mickey hooks Kramer up with a seat-filler job at the Tony Awards in The Summer of George.

Kramer is also an arbitrager. In The Bottle Deposit he and Newman collect bottles and cans in New York (where the refund is 5 cents a bottle and can) and plan to drive them to Michigan to collect a 10 cent refund per bottle and can. They joyfully sing “at ten cents a bottle and ten cents a can we’re pulling in $500 a man!!!”

None of these pursuits are what we would call a side-hustle. They are very “one-off” and do not create a consistent stream of income. To my mind, a great modern Seinfeld episode plot would be Kramer offering his services on Fiverr – that would give him odd jobs where hilarity would ensue.

Kramer at His Most FI

The Keys and The Trip (Parts 1 and 2)

In a three episode arc spanning from the end of Season 3 to the beginning of Season 4, Kramer moves to Los Angeles to pursue a Hollywood career. His motivation appears to be two-fold. He’s angry with Jerry over a dispute regarding spare keys, and he is genuinely interested in becoming an actor and producer. Kramer hitch hikes (after his car breaks down) and lives in a rather dilapidated apartment. He certainly isn’t flush with money in California, but he’s willing to sacrifice to pursue his Hollywood dream. Kramer’s is able to follow his dream because he is so financially independent. 

The Voice

In The Voice, Kramer establishes a corporation (Kramerica Industries), hires an intern, and earnestly attempts to invent a bladder system for tankers to prevent oil spills. He and his intern Darren even do some ill-fated research and development on the concept. When the idea fails, Kramer suggests an alternative invention – a bottle that dispenses both ketchup and mustard.

The Strike

The Strike, known most for its Festivus angle, is where Kramer is at his most and at his least FI. Kramer receives a call that the strike is over. Apparently, he was an employee of H&H Bagels. Over a decade ago Kramer went on strike for $5.35 an hour. Since the minimum wage recently increased to $5.35 an hour, Kramer ends his strike and goes back to work. It’s the rare occasion where Kramer puts work ahead of his everyday quirky life, and his mindlessly going to work just because they now pay $5.35 an hour strikes me as very un-FI.

Later that episode, Kramer acts in a more FI manner. He strikes when his boss won’t let him take off to celebrate Festivus. Prioritizing Festivus over work is very FI (although obviously it’s much more quirky than it is FI). That said, simply leaving the job, instead of staging a strike and picketing, is the more FI path. Kramer eventually ends his strike, but not because of financial concerns. He caved because he really had to go to the bathroom.

How Did Kramer Achieve His Version of FI

It’s hard to understand why Kramer does not need to have a steady job and yet is quite comfortable. He certainly does not seem to have had a lucrative career, and he’s too young to be a pensioner. One would think the show would have mentioned it if he won the lottery. In The Maestro, Jerry tells Kramer that he’s surprised Kramer is “so litigious.” That quote seemingly rules out Kramer being the beneficiary of a lawsuit judgment or large settlement.

My best guess is that Kramer is the beneficiary of a trust, perhaps established by his father, an aunt or an uncle, or a grandparent. He has access to money, but his difficulty with coming up with money in a pinch in The Diplomat’s Club and The Seven indicates that perhaps he receives income to support himself but does not have access to significant assets. Thus, my best working theory is that Kramer is the beneficiary of a trust or otherwise has access to a stream of income, one that is sufficient but not overly generous. In terms of assets and liabilities, it appears that Kramer probably has a relatively modest amount of assets and little in the way of liabilities. 

Do you agree that Kramer embodies many aspects of FI? Are there other fictional characters that are financially independent?

Photo of Michael Richards by Alan Light